Never Feel Again
by AmethystWaves
Summary: Kendall breaks Logan's heart when he tells him he actually loves James, making Logan go crazy. on the other hand Carlos tells his girlfriend Jennifer that he is gay and that makes Jeniffer yell it out loud and then some bullies beat him up... so Can they heal each-other's heart brakes?
1. Chapter 1

**YAY! I'm back again! this is a story that I've been working on for a while... so I don't own Big Time Rush, and that makes me crazy!...**

**O.k. as people said that the story was confusing, Logan is 21 (he goes to university) and Carlos is 17...**

**Warning: Boy/Boy love and a little bit of Crazy-violence at the end... **

**I hope you enjoy... :)**

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**Chapter 1: Unwanted**

Logan slammed the door open, his uneven sobs filling the entire dark silent room. it's been about a month since his mom and dad had left him all on his own, making a cheap excuse to get rid of their unwanted son… **_unwanted_**… he knew what that word meant; he felt it with all of his blood; he saw it in every corner; he tasted it many times… many, many times.

He didn't bother turning the lights on as he kicked the door shut, just to lean on the wooden subject sliding down to the ground slowly. He brought his pale fingers to his red eyes whipping the hot tears away roughly before warping his hands around his fragile body screaming loudly for everybody to hear. he cried harder choking down in sobs, he couldn't forget this night… no he couldn't, no matter how much he wanted too, the pictures would come back to him, over and over again,…

***Two hours ago at Park***

Logan was walking under the trees with Kendall, admiring the bond's smile, he had been fantasizing this moment for months; him and Kendall walking in the park while only stars watched them and then… he would Just gaze in those emerald eyes that made his heart flatter before he draw out the ring he had ordered special. it was a pair of white gold hands Holding three big expensive diamond on it which were shaped as "K&L"… it took like forever to collect the cash, four years of gathering money, working and preventing to eat more than one meal a day just to buy that, it meant so much. Then he would gather all of his strength and dare ask Kendall to marry him; then Kendall would jump and get excited kissing Logan everywhere, saying yes many times…

What if he said no? Logan suddenly felt nervous, his small heart slammed in his cage of ribs "Kendall… I need to ask you something…" he said nervously stopping just to look into Kendall's green orbs that he loved so much; his hand tightened around the small expensive box in his hand.

"Logan… it's actually something I need to tell you first…" Kendall whispered with a sigh, he looked sad, his eyes gazed on the grass under their feet and that pained Logan so much to know something made his Kendall sad and worried.

"I… Logan… I Love someone else…" Kendall said letting go of the breath he had held, and it seemed like the world stopped moving. Logan forced the air out of his lungs as it seemed stuck there… "W…What?"

"Oh… man… Logan… I'm sorry, I know it sucks and you're a really nice guy but… my heart is not yours anymore… I… I love James and… I never have… Loved you…" Kendall's words cut in deep in his heart, the box fell from his hand, slamming on the wet grass bouncing a few times before the shiny expensive ring dropped out disappearing in the small hole full of water near a tree; the tree that he and Kendall used to climb when they were kids.

"No… no… you're laying Kendall you can't do this to me…. I… I Love…" Logan said tears sliding down his pale cheeks rapidly he couldn't end his sentence cause his heart ached painfully, his world was crushing down; his life was tearing apart. He watched as Kendall walked away leaving the brunette to cry and cry… so Logan stood there crying alone, and there was no one that could hear his small heart shatter into million pieces, disappearing in the corners of the dark night. It was the end of the road for Logan, he knew desperation was to come and he knew he would be dead… even if he lived, he was dead, and right after Kendall's poisonous words hit him. He was dead inside; crushed… and then he tasted that meaning again… he was **_unwanted_**…

***two hours later***

Logan kept crying like he didn't care anymore, he didn't care about anything. He knew a panic attack was coming and he didn't even try to stop it, why would he stop it? He had no reason, no excuse, no hope…

**_"I… Logan… I Love someone else…" "I… I love James and… I never have… Loved you…" _**the words where repeating over and over in his head making him crazy. He shook his head so maybe the whispers would go away, but they never did. He screamed again he slammed his hand to the wall with all of his force, making it bleed… but he didn't feel much pain, his skin was numb as he was breathing too quick and uneven. No he couldn't feel anymore… at least not on the inside, he didn't even notice he was biting his lip; he didn't notice the trickle of blood running down his chin. He punched the wall again and again until he left a red mark on the white cover…

**_"I… Logan… I Love someone else…" _**

His hand was throbbing with pain, but the pain in his heart was far more, he couldn't bear that. He curled up in a ball screaming one after another till his throat got all sore. He stood up, nearly losing his balance; he swayed and grabbed onto the counter for support but his hand throbbed in pain causing him to lose his grip and fall heavily down on the dirty floor.

**_"I… I love James and… I never have… Loved you…"_**

Logan coughed for some minute letting his tears wash a few pale lines on his face before finding his strength again, his better hand gripped the counter knuckle white before he pulled himself up, stumbling over the bathroom. His vision was dancing with tears blurring everything and breathing was becoming a harder task minute by minute…

**_"I never have… Loved you…"_**

Logan leaned on the door his weak hand found the knob, the door squeaked, opening a little for Logan to throw himself inside. He really wanted to die… he did… but not like this; he couldn't bear the pain in his chest, in his heart. He wanted a death to pain Kendall with… to take revenge from him. Logan wheezed out loud before opening the medicine bar, his hurt hand searched shaky as he was holding himself up by his other hand over the door.

**_"I… Logan… I Love someone else…" _**

His clumsy searching caused all the medicine and pills boxes to fall on the floor spreading everywhere; he tried to slid down the wall but all he did was falling hard on his shoulder causing him even more pain… more tears trickled down his face, he hissed in pain and looked up and tried to reach the blue little inhaler… the cloister was rolling far away from its plastic body.

**_"I never have… Loved you…"_**

His eyes where burning and blurring more… with his last strength Logan reached forward… but not to the inhaler… he reached to the metal razor, feeling the cold subject in his hand… he placed the razor on his forearm and spent his last chubby breaths curving the bloody words on his arm… something he wished that would be possible… even for a day…

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**Mwahaha... so what do you think will happen? will Logan Die or maybe get Crazy and kill Kendall and something or maybe a little Latino could help him over his heart brake?**

**and don't worry you'll understand what Logan wrote on his arm in the next chapter... and I know that part was kind of... unpleasant...**

**and... don't hate Kendall for that, he just Loves someone else and he noticed it now.**

**so please review and tell me how was it :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**HI! as I didn't want anyone to kill me for the last chapter... I updated this chapter right after!**

**I don't own Big Time Rush... :(**

**Warning: Boy/Boy Love and getting Bullied**

**I hope you enjoy... :)**

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**Chapter 2: Those Looks**

Carlos bit his lower lip, he didn't know how he was gonna say this but he had to say it, he couldn't just run around, be with his girlfriend and pretend to be in love with her… this wouldn't be fair to her, she had the right to know.

"What is it my little honey-Carlos? My Next class is French and you know why I can't wait to get to that class…" Jennifer said smiling, making Carlos feel bad about what was going to happen.

"Cause I sit next to you. Ummm… Jennifer… I need to tell you something that…" Carlos stopped in the middle of his sentence, he didn't like making people cry and this was going to be harder than he thought. The Latino closed his eyes and let the words come out of his mouth in a fast whisper "I'm gay"

Carlos opened his eyes just to see a shocked Jennifer looking directly in his eyes as if she was hoping to find some signs of lie in them "Look Jen… uh, I know it's hard and… please don't hate me and…" Carlos said in fast stuttering words, he was panicking that Jennifer would hate him forever.

"YOU ARE GAY?" Jennifer yelled out loud, making all of the students in the locker room look directly at them. Carlos felt his heart skipped a beat, everybody was looking at him, murmuring things that Carlos knew they weren't good comments.

"Jennifer please… I just want to stay friends…" Carlos said pleadingly trying to calm down the very angry girl. But his words where just fuel to her fire "GET OFF MY FACE CARLOS! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" she roared slapping His cheek hard before walking away with long fast steps. Carlos touched his burning red cheek, his face twitched in pain… he didn't even go after her cause he knew no matter how much he begged her, she wouldn't accept his request. It wasn't his fault that he was into guys; he didn't wish to break people's heart, he hated making people angry and sad, and guilt was suffocating him.

Carlos grabbed his books and slowly walked towards the French Class, his mind was full of thoughts and none of them were good. The whole French Class was a blur, Carlos didn't even try to pay attention to the Class, he was drowned in thoughts and no one could save him from the swamp which was pulling him lower and lower… all he could do was letting a single tear run down his tan cheek.

"So class, make sure you do your homework cause I'll take quiz from this lesson…" the teacher said as the sound of the bell spread into the halls. watching one of his students, Carlos, he frowned… the boy has been out of this world today and he looked so sad, because of that he didn't want to make him way worse by yelling at him to look at the board.

Carlos looked up, his eyes met his teachers and his heart drop, he knew what that look meant, he saw it in Jennifer's eyes when they broke up… Disappointment.

Carlos slowly closed his book with a sigh, he watched Jennifer walk away with one of her friends, don't even bother to look back and glance at him. The little Latino took his time, slowly putting his books in his bag, so he had time to think of what to do next when probably the whole school would hate him. He walked to locker room to pick his English notebook but right when he was at his locker…

"HEY fag!" Carlos heard a deep voice call out and he knew that the guy was gonna probably beat him up. His hand froze half way while opening the Locker's door; he felt his hair standing at the back of his neck as the footsteps got closer.

Carlos' heart begun beating faster as he turned to see Josh, the head of the soccer team looking directly at him and Carlos knew that look really good, he saw it right away when he was talking to Jennifer… his eyes were full of hatred.

"Oh… Josh, I… I didn't, I mean…What… do… do you ...w…want?" Carlos stuttered out, his nerves taking advantage of him. The Little Latino never got a word as answer from the Football player, just a punch to his stomach.

Carlos's Body bent in half from the pain and he could feel bile rising up to his throat. Carlos let tears of pain gather in his eyes, he looked up to Josh but his vision was blurring; maybe because of the over whelming pain or from the tears which threatened to fall.

"You pathetic Faggot! Damn the world would be way better without you…" one of Josh's crew said before spitting in front of the tanned skin boy who was still struggling with the sickening pain. A hard punch to the side of his jaw sent Carlos to the ground. He whimpered while feeling a warm liquid dripping from his lips, blood; it was his blood… But then the sudden pain of kicks to his side told him it was just the start.

"P…please…" Carlos begged, but that just made his attackers wilder, thirsty for his blood, hungry to tear him up and beat him till he dies. Their cusses where hidden behind Carlos' cries of pain, it didn't seem to end… they were just beating him, Carlos was sure he was not gonna get out of this alive, so he just let go of everything, he stopped fighting.

Carlos was in so much pain that he couldn't feel anymore, he couldn't see straight or think right but right when he kicks ended and he thought they were done, a forceful kick to his skull made everything black… everything felt like floating in air while his whole body was being pressed from each corner and he could hear his blood running in his ears and his heart beating with loud BOOMs…

"Caaaaaaarrrrrrlooooooooosss…." He heard a funny deep voice call behind the sound of his heartbeat, then he tried to open his eyes, but they seemed to be weighting more that his whole body. He just saw some blurred faces between his half open eyelids, then it was all black again…

Carlos woke up with the worst feeling of throbbing pain in his head. The white covers and white walls told him he was in hospital. His body was aching but he managed to look around, there was no light coming out of the window next to him and he knew immediately that it was night, and then he heard it… Loud sobs that came from the bed which was placed next to him.

There was a pale boy with black hair crying his eyes out; his left hand was covered in bandage, there was an IV attached to him and an oxygen mask hanging on his neck. Carlos sighed and sat on his bed, but the pain in his head made him hiss and the boy next to him noticed his presence, turning to look at Carlos right in the eye… and that made the Latino twitch, he knew that look, he saw it in Jennifer's eyes… broken heart.

"Uh… hi…" Carlos said giving the boy something that didn't look much like a smile, but it was all he could come up with. The boy didn't answer; he just stared at the Latino with red puffy eyes. That just made Carlos more nervous; he couldn't help but think the boy was some kind of cute "oh… Um I'm Carlos…" he said his head still throbbing.

"Logan…" it was just a whisper but Carlos noticed that the boy had been screaming. Logan swallowed hard before tears gathering in his Chocolate colored eyes again. Carlos just got sadder as he saw him near crying again, life must've been rough with the paler guy.

"Hey… hey! What's wrong?" Carlos couldn't help but ask, but he regretted it right after he said it. The boy's face changed completely now he was just angry… his eyebrows frowned as he grits his teeth "I DIDN'T DIE!" he yelled out, making Carlos get a little afraid, he didn't say any words to the now angry boy and just looked down at his hands, but Logan doesn't seem to be done with him.

"Hehehe… I guess you wouldn't want to talk to a crazy maniac right? Yeah I'm crazy I'M CRAZY!" Logan said laughing like his brain was off completely. His laugh turned into broken sobs but he kept staring at Carlos, making him whish he wasn't there "I… don't think…" he tried to say but Logan cut him off.

"Oh that I'm crazy? No… if I wasn't crazy, would I do THIS?" Logan asked raising his voice second by second, he grabbed the bandage on his hand and with a little bit of struggle ripped it off and then Carlos couldn't help but gasp with wide eyes.

On his forearm there was a Bloody carving on his hand which seemed messy and painful like someone had wrote it is rush; the words said:

**_ "L&K forever"…_**

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**_AGH!_**** I know the last part was kind of Crazy but... I guess Logan had lost his mind. well the question is will he stay like this or get better with the help of Carlos?**

**I know I'm evil for letting Carlos get bullied, but I had to send him to the hospital somehow... so, sorry about that...**

**Please review and let me know if you liked it :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AGH! Sorry I updated late, I've been busy… :(**

**So this is the chapter three! There are some flashbacks from Logan's past and you might hate his mom and dad,… cause I hate them now .**

**I still don't own Btr…;(**

**Warning: Boy/Boy Love and really bad parents**

**I hope you enjoy ;)**

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**Chapter 3: Tears**

Logan smirked mentally as Carlos gasped staring at his forearm. He didn't know what happened to him or why was he doing this, but he felt happy to make people scared of who he was… maybe he had changed since he was reminded of how he was nothing precious to anyone… to be reminded of how he wasn't loved…that he was a mistake… he knew everybody would feel it just by looking in his eyes… he has gone crazy. Once he was, what people would call a shy nerd, but now… he felt like a mad murderer, happy to see others get tortured like he was…

"I have to warn you… mentally, he's really sick, he had cut some words on his…" Logan turned his head to the door with anger in his eyes just to see two doctors walking in, looking shocked to see he had ripped his bandage off and the other boy… Carlos looked frightened with his dark eyes wide and his jaw shaky.

The doctor on the right which was a little younger and wore big ugly glasses has stopped talking right when he saw the mess. The other doctor seemed older with a serious but friendly look on his face. But Logan didn't seem to understand what friendly look meant at all, he looked into the doctors' eyes and kept yelling "Now WHAT? You want to inject me with a Sedative and bring me for a psychological counsel? Well your psychologists can't help me… none of this medication can help me… NO ONE CAN HELP ME!" Logan said tears running down his cheeks he knew there was another panic wave coming to him. He felt his heart beat fast and his mind get foggy as he roughly pulled out the angiocath from his hand making some blood pour out.

Carlos turned his head away feeling a wave of dizziness hit him, his hand numbed as he imagined how much that sort of action wound pain. Logan pulled the oxygen mast off his neck, using the doctors' shocks to try to get out of the bed, but the younger doctor was faster, he ran to his side trying to hold the struggling boy down… his arm where he had ripped the angiocath off was getting bruised and the doctor knew he might have damaged his vain, the older doctor which seemed to be the psychologist ran to his side helping him while calling for help.

Logan didn't know how much he struggled or how much his arm pained, his mind wasn't working right, he just wanted to run away and cry somewhere till he passes out. He saw two nurses running in the room but he didn't get the faces… it was all blurry. He felt strong arms held him down as there was some clear liquid injected to his arm and then, it was all peace… his mind has got sleepy and his struggles became weak… he looked as the doctors, Their actions were funny, it was slow and blurry, he couldn't hear them talking it was like seeing a movie in mute mood. His mind was getting more tired and more tired… then it was all black.

Carlos was lying on his back staring in the air… it's been a few hours since the doctors had taken Logan away, but Carlos couldn't help but think about the other boy. Last two hours had gone fast, his mom and dad visiting him along with his best friend, telling him how worried they were and that they would make the bullies pay. His doctor told them that he just has some minor concussion and has to stay here for the night, but he said he didn't want to. He has been very lonely since they have taken him to the private part of the hospital, he had no one to talk to… his friend said he would be back 20 minutes later and that he's going to the cafeteria…

Carlos was drowned in his thoughts, what had gone the other boy that crazy? or could he ever be healed? It was all the questions that came to his mind, he even didn't knew why but something about Logan made him wanna think about him over and over… there was no way he could escape the thoughts of the older brunette, he maybe ask the nurse where his room was now…

"Hey there Carlitos… I'm back, uh you look sad…" the voice of his older friend brought him back to reality. He smiled at his 22 years old best friend who looked concerned "nothing I was just thinking…"

"About?" the taller guy asked sitting beside his tan friend smiling face wide…

"Um… I'm not sure I want to talk about it now, but thanks **_James_**…"

The pretty brunette chuckled "you're welcome"

**_/flash back/_**

**_"Mommy… I can't sleep, I keep throwing up in the toilet…" the little 8 year old said as he coughed into the tissue in his hand, it's been a few days that he's been sick but no one actually cared._**

**_"You throw up?" his mother asked making him feel a little hopeful because he thought she was concerned… but then "I hope you'll clean up the mess you made… or you're not having dinner for three weeks…" his mom said coldly before watching the Tv again._**

**_"But it hurts…" Logan said, more chubby coughs shaking his body. It was when the poisonous words came from his dad "Logan! Can't you see we don't want you here now? We can't always watch out to see what's going on with you..." he said making little Logan wonder when they actually watched out for him; they always seemed to avoid their poor little son…_**

**_Logan coughed a few more times, tears running down his face, he felt like he was about to pass out, how could his parents' not care when their child is sick? "Logan? If you're done bothering us, don't stand there interrupting the movie with your coughs…go to your room…" he dad called out frustrated. _**

**_Logan didn't know how he managed to walk towards the stairs, but when he reached there he heard his dad talk again, with his mom. He felt like throwing up again but he forced himself to listen._**

**_"Uh… Joannah, I can't take it anymore… we should have used more protection, you know how I hate children and Logan… he's a trouble child!" _**

**_"Hmm… yeah you know I didn't want to have him either... don't blame me! And he's not that bad, at least he's good at school…maybe we can give him to your sister jenny… they love children!"_**

**_"Nah… Jenny has five kids, her own and they're in a big financial problem… man, I wish we could fly away and make another happy life we used to have… "_**

**_"Hmm that's not a really bad Idea John… we can get works around and go, never look back, he can handle himself and it's completely legal when his 21…"_**

**_"yeah… I think we should do that…" _**

**_Logan couldn't believe what he heard, his mom and dad actually said that it was a mistake that he was born, a mistake… they didn't want him, it made him feel sicker. Logan couldn't take it anymore, he throw up on the stairs, he knew he had to clean it up right now and there was no dinner for 3 weeks… he took a deep breath and tried forgetting this night, but it didn't seem like something possible…_**

**_/end flash back/_**

His eyes opened. Logan blinked twice to get a clear view of where he was. It took him some time to understand that he was still in the hospital, but this time his hands where bound lightly to the sides of the white bed. His injured hands where bandaged and there was a heart monitor next to him. An IV was attached to the back of his hand, He smiled bitterly as he understood he was alone in the room so won't harm anyone. Tears gathered in his eyes as the thoughts came to him again the images of Kendall telling him he didn't want him… his mom, dad… everything…

"Hi, I'm Doctor Smith, and you must be Mr. Mitchell…" a voice brought him back to earth. He looked up a bit dazed to see the older doctor he just saw was looking at him from the doorway. He felt really calmed and unfocused; it had to be the medication that ran down his IV, he didn't answer the guy he just looked at him blankly "I'm a psychologist and I'm here to help you…" doctor smith smiled.

"So… I think for helping you, you have to tell me everything that happened or made you upset… but let me tell you something first… about cases like you it's a… " Logan didn't hear what the guy said next, he was talking too much and Logan's mind just begun flying away to the swamp of his thoughts… he wasn't in the hospital anymore… he was home where a little boy was walking down the stairs to show his mom and dad his great scores…

**_/flash back/_**

**_"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" the five year old kid said running down the stairs to reach the kitchen where his mom was. He had an A+ in the school and the teacher told him he was a really good boy; he was so happy and wanted to make his mom happy by showing her his score._**

**_"What again Logan? I'm busy" his mother asked like she was annoyed that she had to answer him. Logan hesitated a little feeling unwelcome by the reaction he got._**

**_"I got an A+ at school!" he said jumping up and down, his mother made a disgusted face "an A+ isn't worth getting happy, now to your room… I don't' have time or the nerves…" she said sighing._**

**_"But mom… I'm your son…" he said, still wanting his mom to show him the reaction that other parents gave their children at school when they saw their son was doing well. He wanted his mom to smile, not frown like she was bored of watching his face._**

**_"And now you reminded me of why I never wanted a child… the house would be quieter…" she said, not caring about Logan's reaction. Logan's innocent mind didn't understood why would a parent hate her child or don't want it… they prayed and God gave them children, the people got their child like this right? How couldn't they don't want him while they prayed for him? His reaction to this was the first reaction every kid would give something unpleasant, he cried with big tearful eyes… but all he got was a painful slap to his cheek "to your room…"_**

**_/end flash back/ _**

"… Are you even listening?" the angry tone of the doctor made Logan realize he's still in the room with the physiologist and not at his house. He just looks at the doctor, tears forming in his eyes but just like other people the doctor couldn't understand what he was through… "If you continue not letting me in your mind… I think I have to send you to an asylum" the older man mumbled under his breath sitting in the chair next to him with a heavy sigh taking his thick glasses off to make an eye contact with his patient "the choice is yours…"

Logan looked deep into the guy's eyes, his cheeks where still wet from all the tears he had let fall. The only sound in the room was the small beeps that came from the monitor next to him and the doctors slow deep breaths as he waited for the answer, But Logan could hear more… there were sounds whispering in his head, his logical part which he thought was completely gone told him to take his chances and let the doctor help him… but then there were those voices again… **_"I never have… Loved you…"" And now you reminded me of why I never wanted a child…""Hmm… yeah you know I didn't want to have him either..."_**

Logan licked his lips before opening his mouth for his certain answer "I wanna…"

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**Mwahaha! Where he want to go? **

**And yeah, James is Carlos's best friend… and he's a really good guy :D**

**Please review and let me know if it was good :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! I'm back… so before you get angry at me, I have written this chapter a long time ago, but my Beta reader who happens to be my sister is so lazy!**

**So sadly I don't own Big Time Rush… :(**

**Warning: boy/boy Love**

**I hope you enjoy it… ;) **

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**Chapter 4: why**

Logan licked his lips before opening his mouth for his certain answer "I wanna go to the asylum…" tears ran down his cheeks, a strong feeling of anger rushed through his veins as he saw the doctor didn't move or say anything… he didn't want to go to the asylum, he never thought he would ever be asked to answer that question, but he did… he needed to get away from the people around him, he needed to be alone, he didn't want to be hurt again…

The doctor hesitated, maybe the boy was desperate and out of his mind a little, but this decision made him hesitate. Was the boy really mentally sick or he pretended to get away from the population that hurt him? "WHY DON'T YOU CALL THEM AND GET IT OVER WITH?!" Logan yelled with all his might, making the doctor nearly jump off of his seat.

Logan's scream turned into helpless cries, Tears rushed down his pale cheeks as sobs burned his sore throat.

He didn't know how much time he spent crying but he was drowned in his thoughts as the doctor walked out…

Carlos groaned again, he hated lying in a bed, waiting which was exactly what he was doing right now. He wanted to walk out and find where Logan was, the thought of the other boy was eating him inside out and he didn't even know why!

James checked his texts in his phone again, keeping an eye on his smaller friend "hey… Carlitos don't be sad. tomorrow you'll be good enough to go home… "

"I know that James… uh, I hate lying all day, can you ask if I can get a walk around the hospital?" Carlos asked looking at his friend with big innocent eyes, getting more and more impatient by seconds.

"Aww… how can I say no to a face like that?" James said, putting down his phone before walking out of the room. Carlos was really grateful that he had a friend like James; he did everything for him, without asking for return…

Carlos tried to think again while James was gone but a sudden music cut off his thoughts. The tan boy frowned; searching for the source of the music only to find it was coming from James' mobile phone.

He didn't understand much but there was a face with a blond hair on the screen and the green and red symbols of "answer" and "Decline" under it were showing up. He didn't even bother thinking who the guy was; it would be considered disturbing James' privacy…

The phone rang and rang till the caller gave up and the phone laid there cold as the screen got all black again with a warning of missed call.

The sound of the door made Carlos turns his attention to his friend, his heart was beating fast, he needed to find the pale boy or he would go crazy…

His eyes locked on James' mouth fearing he won't get a chance to meet the guy before the gets out "yeah, you can go… want me to come?" James asked sitting next to Carlos with an adorable grin.

"Uh… no… I just want to take a small walk around" Carlos said blushing at the thought of finding the other boy, he jumped off the bed, frowning and holding onto the bed as his head throbbed but then he smiled and walked to the door, leaving a worried James behind

"You can go to the cafeteria till I come" he said the last word to his best friend before walking to the halls in the hope of finding where the reception was.

Finding the reception wasn't as hard as he thought he just had to walk past some corridors to the elevator then come to the first floor and he would be standing in front of the reception.

"Hey... Um I was wondering if you can tell me where I can find the guy who's been on room number 203?" Carlos asked the tall woman behind the desk with an adorable smile on his face.

"o.k... Are you family?" the woman asked her eyes on the computer before her as she typed something.

The question made Carlos' mouth go dry; they might not tell him... Well actually they shouldn't, man he was hopeless. The tan boy licked his lips and moved a little in his place "no, but I'm his friend... And I really need to see him..." He said giving her the best puppy eyes he could, making it hard for the woman to say no. He wasn't lying actually, they had a conversation and that made them friends, sort of...

"I'm sorry honey... He's been transferred to an asylum..." the woman said with sympathy. Carlos' mind froze for a moment; it wasn't that easy to get into asylum. He would definitely need family membership excuse and the thought of Logan being in asylum made him feel bad.

"Which asylum... Um can I have the address?" Carlos asked with a sad look on his face. The woman looked over at him and deep into his eyes before taking a piece of paper and writing something on it.

"so what's your friend's sir name?" The woman asked with a suspicious smile, still not giving the paper to Carlos. The Latino boy paused to look at her with his mouth hanging open "uh..." he said, his mind blowing with fear as he tried to remember the name, but the boy never told him... He was toast.

"Mitchell... It's Mitchell and if you're so desperate to see him, you don't have to lie" the woman said with a smile giving him the paper. Carlos looked confused but then smiled with a blush of embarrassment "thanks..." he said before walking back still not sure what exactly happened. But he knew something... He was gonna see Logan Mitchell again.

(Two days later)

Carlos looked up again; he was standing in front of a white building with huge doors. He was standing in the asylum's yard thinking the woman might have gotten the address wrong to give him a lesson of not lying. The building was too... good to be an asylum; there were cute flowers on every balcony that filled the whole place. There was also some kind of ivy going up the white walls; it was more like a rest-house for elder people.

Carlos sighed, he had got here after school and as soon as possible now he saw maybe it wasn't worth it to make himself look pathetic just to see some guy he just met... But the thought of Logan made him more impatient to go in. He had no friends at school, after what had happened, no one would bother to even look at him.

"Hey..." Carlos said with a smile walking over to the young woman behind the desk, hoping his eyes would do the magic this time too.

"Umm... Sorry can I see Logan Mitchell? I'm his friend" Carlos said looking at her with big dark-chocolate eyes. The woman just shook his head "not without his parent's permission..." she said minding the work she's been doing.

"Please... I need to see him..." Carlos begged but the woman just shook her head again, not even looking at the Latino. Carlos' eyes was getting warm, tears threatening to fall, after all he's been through to come here, telling his family he was at the park or lying about being Logan's friend... Was this the end? "I can help him..." the words just came out of his mouth, he didn't even think about them.

The woman looked up before giving him a glare "go in... Room 8... It's not legal and I just gave you permission because you think you can help him... If anyone asked say I'm Andrew Mitchell his cousin... Got it?" she whispered frowning "and I don't take the responsibility... His aunt is paying for him so they have to know, after now, it's you and them. I'm not gonna let you pass again…" Why were all the people so nice to him about this situation? Carlos didn't know why but he knew God was helping and he would take his chances...

"Thank you so much... I won't forget it..." Carlos said walking up the stairs, the asylum which looked really calm and silent from outside, was completely different on the inside… Carlos could hear the screams and shrieks in the corridors. There were many doctors who didn't even seem to see him; they just walked by to check the patients.

Carlos reached the door number eight, there was a woman standing in a nurse-like dress, she looked at him angrily "what's it kid... Where's your mommy and daddy?" she asked crossing her arms.

"I'm Andrew Mitchell... Logan's cousin... My mom and dad couldn't come; I want to see if he's o.k. If I can help him..." Carlos said feeling nervous, but the woman laughed out loud before walking off "I wanna see you try... Boy, your cousin doesn't even eat or speak... Or even look at people..."

Carlos swallowed, getting confused by the woman's reaction, before entering the room. The pale boy was lying on the bed with an IV on his arm looking at the roof like he was seeing though it. The IV must have something to keep him calm cause the last time he saw him, he acted differently.

Carlos closed the door so nobody would hear him speak. "Um hi..."

* * *

**Aww Carlos is so CUTE!**

**So how was it? Please review and tell me :)**


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